


The Touch

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Out of Character, Sexual Content, Slash sex, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2008-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-30 10:46:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10161449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Harry Potter was alone. Divorced and reflective, his children about to finish Hogwarts and Harry is offered an odd friendship.  Join their journey to find out if Harry will ever find the thing he misses the most, The Touch of another Human who loves him.





	1. Chapter One, Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Disclaimer: The characters belong to the blonde lady in Scotland and a movie studio who doesn’t like that we play with them. But I mean no harm and make no money.

**  
The Touch  
By: RD Wind  
Beta: WV Sailor (Thank you!!!!)  
**

He sat silently as the television show ended with a soft kiss. Smiling to himself, he realized that more than anything of his previous life, he missed the touch of another human being who loved him.

Harry Potter had never been one that was shown great affection. His friends, ever true, had shown him his first hint of kindness when he was eleven. The Weasleys adopted him as one of their own early on. It was them who had given him his first Christmas gifts. Through his seven years of boarding school, he had lost many of his newer friends, watching them die as the mad man tried to ruin his world. When that same man had threatened to end the lives of his closest friends, Harry had killed him. Harry showed no regret or sorrow at taking another life, it was simply the only option to save the two friends that had saved him from a life of solitude.

But now, some twenty years later, Harry Potter found himself home alone on Christmas Night. His children, both of whom he gave birth to, were away at school. His friends, forever asking him to join them on the holidays had left England for a ‘get-away’ and Harry was not invited that year. His now ex-husband was currently living with his third wife just a few miles up the road. 

Harry and Oliver were still friends. After the war, they fell in love quickly and moved in together within a month of their romance beginning. The feelings, fresh, new and complete were easy to believe. The marriage was anything but romantic, but there were two wonderful children born from it. Harry had reflected many times that if he could go back, knowing everything that he had known now, he would still have married Oliver. He would still have been at the club that night. He still would have gone home with him, and moved in with him. Harry still would have loved him.

When the first pregnancy was discovered, it was in the middle of a breakdown between the two. Harry was violently ill and finally agreed to see a healer. When he found out he was pregnant, he swore that he would work it all out with Oliver. They did have some reconciliation and after James Garrett Potter was born, things spiraled.

Harry had the equivalent of the baby blues and was not the nicest person to be around. Oliver went to work, and Harry stayed home, but although it took a few weeks, Mrs. Weasley had Harry sorted out and he felt much more like a parent than someone to be feared. The second pregnancy, just a few short months after the first birth, ended with a miscarriage. Harry and Oliver were fighting over something stupid and Oliver had hit him. Harry fell down a flight of stairs. When they went to the Emergency Room at St. Mungo’s and found out that they had lost a child, Oliver realized that he had caused it. 

There were many promises made, and within two months of the miscarriage, Harry was pregnant again. The little girl, Jordan Lily, was born almost fifteen months after James. The only problem was that Harry had an emergency operation to give birth and was alone when it came time. Harry resented Oliver for working instead of being with him during the birth, and as such, decided that there would never be another child. The healers asked if Harry was sure of his decision, and they performed a simple sectioning operation which would prevent future pregnancies. 

It was two days later that Oliver showed up at the hospital with a lame excuse of working away from any correspondence. Harry tried to forgive him for the sake of the family, but a few short years later, the marriage ended. Harry kept custody of the children and moved to Ottery St. Catchpole to be nearer the only family he felt he had, the Weasleys. It was about this same time that Ron married Pansy Parkinson and brought a beautiful black haired wizard into the world. Hermione married a man from Austria and had since divorced him and moved back to be closer to the Wizarding world to continue her studies. Ginny and Neville had married as well and she was pregnant within months of the marriage.

So it was that Harry’s children were older than his friends’ children. Oliver still corresponded with the children while away at school, and saw them for a few weeks during the summer, but otherwise, he and Harry remained only friends. Oliver had married again within a month of the divorce and when that one ended some ten years later, he moved in with a witch who was nearly fifteen years younger than he was. Harry simply said nothing unless his opinion was asked. 

Harry, over the course of the twelve years of being single, dated. He had even had a very serious relationship or two with men whom he felt he could share his life. But, the beginning of James’ fourth year, he gave up and decided that he would spend the rest of the time he had with his children as a parent and let Oliver do the dating and mistakes. After all, Harry reasoned, he was only going to be a parent to these two. Once they had both left Hogwart’s, he would seek companionship again. Until then, he just gave up.


	2. Chapter Two:  A Visit from an Old Friend

****

  
The Touch  
By: RD Wind  
Beta: WV Sailor (Thank you!!!!)  


Chapter Two: A Visit from an Old Friend

Harry had turned off the television and decided that what he missed most in the world was the touch of a human being. His children, who were almost grown, were only home in the summer and it was James’ seventh year. Jordan was in her sixth and trying desperately to leave Hogwart’s at the same time her brother left. Harry was sure there were reasons he had not been told yet, but decided to let her do her best and go from there.

Harry sat back in the rocking chair that he had rocked both of his children and watched the fire in the fireplace. It was connected to the floo, but he doubted that there would be anyone over at this late hour. He stared and remembered the men in his life and sighed. “Will I ever find someone that loves me for me?” He asked to the empty room.

It was at that moment a head appeared in the flames, “Mr. Potter?”

Blinking stupidly, he recognized the blonde hair of Narcissa Malfoy. “Yes?” he answered.

“May I come through?” She asked with as much sincerity as she could muster.

Harry thought about it for a moment before giving permission. He stood and waited for the Malfoy matriarch to step into his home for the first time. When she did, she looked like the angel from the top of the Christmas Tree that he had not put up that year. “How can I help you?” He asked.

“Could we speak for a bit, Mr. Potter?” She asked.

Gesturing to the couch, he asked if she would like tea. When she agreed, he left her alone in the room to put the kettle on the stove. Rather than sitting, she looked around the room. There were pictures of Harry and his two children through the years, a few pictures of her cousins, Sirius and Nymphadora, and the werewolf. There were books on the shelves that, she assumed, held more photographs. 

As he returned, he observed her for a moment, taking in the beauty that was Narcissa. He had never been attracted to a woman before and it took a moment for him to realize that her son, Draco, looked very much as she did. Clearing his throat he entered the room. “Here we are, Mrs. Malfoy.” He said handing her a cup of tea.

Thanking him, she sat quietly for a moment sipping her tea and looking at him. She knew she was about to ask for something completely unorthodox, but hoped he was still the man she knew he once was. “Mr. Potter, I have come with a rather odd request.” She stated bluntly. 

“Mrs. Malfoy, the fact that you are here is odd in itself, what could you possibly ask of me that would make this visit any less odd?” He said with a grin.

“I assume you know about Draco’s unfortunate run-in with the Ministry?” She asked.

Harry had to think about that one. “Not the particulars, only that he is in Azkaban for a few years.” He admitted to her.

Clearing her throat, she continued, “It seems that my son was caught with a young witch at a club he should not have been, given that his wife was home eight months pregnant.” Harry nodded. “That was two years ago. He has been in Azkaban since, and still has three years to serve before he can come up for parole.”

“Mrs. Malfoy, I am sorry for your losses. Draco and I became friends after we left Hogwarts and I would never have believed it possible that he would be with someone so young that he would go to prison for it. But I have no influence at the Ministry to assist him in getting out early.” He said, trying to comfort her and end the conversation at the same time.

She looked into his green eyes. “Oh, no, you misunderstand me. I did not come through to ask for your assistance in this, I came to ask you to…” she hesitated for a moment, “well, you see, his wife has divorced him, his friends were all gone long before this happened, and he is alone except for Lucius and myself. We write, but I thought, perhaps, you could begin corresponding with him as well.”

Harry was dumfounded. She wanted him to write her son while he was in prison for propositioning a girl that was Jordan’s age. Was she mad? “I don’t know that I can do that.” He said truthfully. “Why would he want to hear from me?”

“Mr. Potter, Draco has made many mistakes in his life. The girl in question was employed at that club, had a false identification card showing her age at twenty-one, and had been there over a year when he met her. I don’t know why but when he asked her to go home with him, she told the police. The club was closed and he was not the only one to get prison time, he just got the longest. She is free to live her life with no more charges than possessing a false identification card. He is guilty, but it is not cut and dried. He had never done anything like that before.”

Harry listened and tried very hard to believe what he was told, even with the holes in the story, it didn’t sound as though it was about which something he could not find out more. “Please go on, Mrs. Malfoy.” He urged.

“At the initial hearing, he was given a bond and allowed to go home. That was when his second child, Andrew, was born. They knew that it was only a matter of time before he had a trial, and although she promised she would wait, the day after the sentencing, she filed for divorce and received custody. We see the children, mostly when she wants to go out, but she does not keep us from them. Draco, however, does not hear from her. We pay her a stipend to keep her in a home and the children in private tutoring, but she is not the type of person we had hoped he would marry.”

Harry stood and walked around a bit while she continued her story about her grandchildren and what kind of father Draco wanted to be when he was released. She didn’t really get his attention again, until she said, “…he asked me to ask you if he could write you.”

Turning, Harry asked why.

“Because, it seems Harry, that you are the only one he trusts outside of Lucius and myself. He knows what type of man you are and hopes that you and he can renew your friendship.”

Dropping his head, Harry thought for a moment. “Yes, he can write me. I will try to write him as well when I have time.” He promised.

Standing as well, Narcissa walked over to him, “Thank you, Mr. Potter. I am sure that the two of you will find a way to be friends again.”

Gesturing to the fireplace, he said, “I am making no promises, other than write.”

With a smile and a whoosh of flames, she was gone. Harry wondered to what he had just agreed.


	3. Chapter Three:  Azkaban

**Chapter Three: Azkaban**

_“Prisoner 19980731, you have a visitor, prepare for extraction,_ ” the loud voice boomed through the halls. Draco tensed for a moment when he realized that he was number 19980731 and he would soon have the unpleasant feeling of being sucked through a tube to see his parents.

In Azkaban, only immediate family could visit. In his case, since he was divorced and knew his ex-wife would not allow his children to write, let alone visit, that it could only be his parents. Hands over his head, he closed his eyes and within seconds felt the pull of his body through the solid stone. Grimacing, he took a deep breath as the pull released him in a waiting area.

He always took a moment to orient himself so that when he turned and saw his father, he did not show weakness. This time, however, when he turned, he saw only his mother. Her arms opened wide to receive him as he quickly crossed the room to her. 

The touch of his mother was what he craved most at that moment;, knowing he could not touch his son or daughter was hell on earth, but this was the only thing that lessened that anguish. Breathing in her clean scent, he clung to her, far longer than if Lucius had also come. 

Finally releasing her, he looked down into the beautiful grey eyes of his mother. “Mother, how are you?”

Leading her only child to the chairs provided, she sat with him. “I am fine, love. I only came to tell you that I have contacted Mr. Potter and he has agreed to the letter exchange. He did ask what you had done as he had not been told, but he did not seem to judge you too harshly.”

Wide eyes met hers before he found his voice, “What shall I write about?” 

“If it were me, I would write with truth and honesty. He does not wish to have a relationship with you, just become letter friends.” She told him.

Shaking his head in agreement, he could not find the words to thank her for contacting him. She went on to describe her visit to Harry’s house and the warmth with which it was decorated. She finished by answering the unasked question, “I saw no one with him, no photos of anyone, other than that of his ex-husband and children. I am sure you could…”

He interrupted her, “No, Mother, that isn’t what this is about. I just want contact with someone in addition to you and Father. How is he?”

“Harry seemed quite…”

“Father, Mother, you do remember him? Tall? Blonde? Wealthy?” Draco interjected with a smile.

“Oh, him? He is fine as well. He sends his best but could not be here today. It is for the best as we had other things to discuss. Now, when will you write him?”

“I suppose as soon as you give me enough money to purchase the parchment, quill, and ink.”

“It will be in your account post haste, Love.”

With another hug, the visit ended. Draco felt his body being sucked back through the tube to return to his room. The necessary items were already there, as was his dinner. He ate quickly, knowing that his food would remain for only a short time. He stared at the parchment for much longer wondering what he would write. Taking a deep breath, he dipped the end into the ink and began…

_**Harry,** _

_**Thank you for agreeing to correspond with me while I am in Azkaban. I was not sure you would consent, but I know my mother could talk almost anyone into anything, so I asked for her help. Now, of course, since you agreed, I find myself wondering what to write to you.** _

_**I believe it would be foolish to say that I am not guilty. I am here, tried and convicted by a lawful court along with many others. What I can say about that, is I should not have been where I was. I was married and my wife was pregnant. I should have been home with her and not out roaming the countryside in search of my next conquest. For that I am ashamed and, if nothing else, I should be punished for that.** _

_**The court gave me a ten-year sentence, but with good behavior, I could be out in as little as five years, depending on the councelor's reports. The girl that was at the center of all of this has written the courts and asked for leniency; at least that is what my solicitor says. I have a good one so I know that he will do his best when the hearing comes round.** _

_**The main thing I hate is that I learned too late that I love my children. My son will be almost grown and at Hogwart’s before I even get to know him properly. I feel like such a failure regarding him. On the other hand, I can’t make it worse, or be my father incarnate.** _

_**My children can send notes, cards or pictures, but my ex-wife does not allow that often, and they are usually through my parents. I can respond, of course, through my parents. Even after my release, I may have only monitored visits with my daughter until she reaches her majority.** _

_**As embarrassing as this situation may be, I would rather have five minutes with her in front of the Wizengamot as to continue not to see her. I miss them Harry, really and truly.** _

_**I must close now in order for it to leave today’s mail. I look forward to hearing from you.** _

_**Best Regards,** _

_**Draco  
** _

__

Not bothering to roll the parchment, as the guards would read it before it could be sent, he quietly asked the cell door if he could see a guard. When the guard arrived, Draco asked the guard to send it for him and with a tip of his hat, the guard left the hallway with the letter.

Draco settled back on his bed and began his evening ritual before sleeping. Laying back he closed his eyes and tried to find a calm place in his mind. It was his mother’s gardens this time, in the sunshine with the birds singing and his two beautiful children laughing with him. 

“Papa,” his daughter would say, “can I have this rose?”

“Oh, love, you can have anything you want!” Draco would reply laughing as he threw his son in the air again. Spinning, he reiterated, “Anything and everything!” His son, barely old enough to be out of nappies would laugh and scream as his papa caught him.

Falling into the only peace he could find, Draco slept. His dreams visited by emerald green eyes and four children in the gardens.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Across England, Harry sat in front of his roaring fire once again. He could not bear to have the television on once again, so he had read a bit and wondered when he would get Draco’s letter; even as the owl was coming with great speed to answer just that question.

##############  
Author's note: I promise this story will eventually earn its rating. It will be a ride to remember until that point, however. Just bear with me as WV sorts out my grammar and puncutation!


	4. Chapter Four -- Letters and Life Begins

**Chapter Four – The Letter Exchange Begins…**

Harry made tea and looked out of the wintery window just before dawn on Boxing Day. Just as the kettle began to whistle, a sharp knock came from the window. Harry looked up to see the owl delivering his Daily Prophet right on schedule. Opening the window, he beckoned the owl in for a moment’s respite against the chill. Gratefully, the bird nipped at the proffered treat of warmth and water before fluffing its chest and hopping toward the window. 

“Thank you!” Harry called as the bird took flight. The bird did not acknowledge his presence with anything other than a single “Hoooooooot.”

The second owl of the morning was from Charlie Weasley. His note said he would be in town for a few more days and would like to take Harry out for dinner. Harry considered this and agreed, sending the owl back with a reply.

Closing the window with a sigh, Harry relaxed and went about his normal routine of tea, breakfast, and information from the outside world. During his perusal of the social columns, another bird knocked on the window. When Harry allowed entry for this bird however, it was grateful to be out of the harsh elements for a bit. 

Removing the letter from the owl, Harry pushed a bit of bacon and juice forward for its consumption. When Harry looked at the handwriting, he was a bit shocked when he realized it had the Azkaban seal on it. ‘This is it,’ he pondered to himself, ‘wondered how long it would take her to tell him it was alright to write me.’

Harry sat at the kitchen table rather than reopening the window for the now sleeping owl and began to read. When finished, he sat back and looked at the owl. Deciding he had time for it to continue its nap and assuming he could send it back with his reply, Harry went to the office to begin the strangest correspondence he could imagine.

 

_  
Boxing Day, Letter One_

_Draco,_

_I have received your letter. Thank you for taking the time to ask your mum if she would come and ask first. It was strange to actually have her in my home, but in a good way. She is a very wonderful woman, and when I look at her, I saw you as you were in school. I used to think that you were like Lucius, and even now, I can assume some similarities, just from your letter, in that you love your children but did not make the best decisions. But looks are all Narcissa._

_All is well in London this year. Neither of my children is home from Hogwarts as it is James’ last year and Jordan stayed over to study for her sixth year exams. She hopes to take her NEWTs in June and leave Hogwarts with James. I assume she has met someone that she intends to introduce to me when she leaves there. Either way, her grades are up and I am proud she is making the effort. My children are much older than yours are, but I started much younger. Do you realize that the last time we had any contact was the one blind date that ended up being Blaise Zabini? What a horrible evening. It had to be what, maybe eleven years ago. I think you were just talking about getting married. It is odd to think that I will be having dinner with Charlie tonight. Charlie is Ron’s older brother. He will be in town a few more days and thought it would be nice to get together._

_Funny, I never thought about your orientation. With your concern for your looks, I just assumed you swung for my side and thought no more about it. It’s funny now to realize that even my ex-husband doesn’t swing this way. Maybe I am the abnormal one because I rarely see a woman I find attractive and if I do, I don’t seem to for long. Some bloke will walk by, catch my eye, and remind me why I like men. Forgive me for that, I seem to be writing what I am thinking rather than what needs to be said._

_What I need to tell you are that your mother presented a case for you that should have kept you out of prison, or at the least, reduced your sentence. Would you please give me more details on what really happened? Not what you want me to know, but the truth. If we are going to write letters, then I would like to think we are going to put only honesty in the written word..._

_That said I await your reply regarding what really happened. Remember I have a sixteen-year-old daughter to think about too._

_Best of Luck,_

_Harry  
_

When he reread the note, he decided it was good enough for the moment, and went to send the owl back to Azkaban.

TTTTTTTTTTT

While the owl made its way back across England in the noon sun, Harry was at the Weasleys eating lunch and talking. The whole family was there, children ran, adults laughed and talked, and there was food by the pound! Harry had not mentioned his correspondence with Draco to anyone yet. He wanted to speak with Ron privately before he let anyone know.

Just before he left, he did ask Ron, who was in the upper ranks of the Aurors, if he might have a word. Walking to the garden, Harry asked, “Ron, what do you know about Draco Malfoy’s conviction?”

“Malfoy?” Ron asked with a start. “I didn’t expect that name to come out of your lips again.”

“I ran into the elder Malfoys while I was shopping and they didn’t look good. They had their grandchildren and when I said hello, Narcissa actually spoke to me. Lucius held out his hand and shook mine. The children are beautiful, but when I asked where Draco was, Lucius pulled me close and whispered that Draco was in Azkaban and could I please not mention it in front of the children. I apologized and exited as quickly as possible.” Harry lied without thought.

Ron seemed to accept this explanation and move on. “I know that there was a raid on a Muggle strip club that he was caught. Apparently, there were underage girls there and one said that Malfoy had propositioned her. From what I remember, she looked older than sixteen. I’d have to check but there was more to the story.”

“If that is true, why did he get sentenced to Azkaban?”

“Couldn’t answer you, mate. However, I will do some digging if you want to know. I tried not to be involved in that one. I am a bit biased where it comes to that family. Thought he would stand a better chance if I were not involved. I was wrong. He got ten years. I mean, didn’t he and his wife just have a baby or something?”

“I would assume so, the little boy looked two or three, but the girl looked tall enough to start Hogwarts next year. Look, it isn’t a big deal, I was just curious is all.”

Clapping Harry on the shoulder, Ron promised to look into it. Luna called that she was ready to go which ended the conversation completely.

Harry stayed and helped clear the table and wash the dishes, while Molly put away the food. “Harry dear, you don’t have to do that every year.” She said with a smile as the last plate was dried.

“I don’t mind, it’s better than being alone at the house.” He said.

“Perhaps you should consider dating again. You are so handsome and I know there is some special wizard out there just for you.”

Harry hugged her. “Someday, perhaps, but my heart has been broken too many times to put it back out there for now. Let me get the children out of Hogwarts and then make a decision. Besides,” he added with a sly grin, “Charlie and I are going to go to dinner later tonight.”

Smiling, she hugged him, hopeful that he would still be a Weasley someday. Releasing him, she said, “That’s fine then. Just don’t expect much from Charlie. He’s always dating someone one.” With a promise of not giving up, he left the Burrow with a pop to reappear in his own warm home to get ready for the evening.

 

Charlie arrived at seven o’clock to pick Harry up and take him to dinner. Harry was a bit shocked that his ‘date’ had dressed in his Muggle finest and looked at Harry like a man in the desert looks at a glass of water. Harry gulped and left with him.

Dinner was a success, in Charlie’s opinion. Harry and he had split two bottles of wine and talked for hours over dinner. Now, standing on the stoop of Harry’s home, Charlie found himself asking if he could see Harry again. Leaning down, Charlie slowly kissed him. The kiss, which started as a good-bye kiss, intensified. Harry found himself wrapped in the long arms of his best friend’s brother.

When the kiss broke, both men were panting just a bit, Charlie’s hard length pushing into Harry’s hip while his own pushed again the muscular thigh. “Harry, I don’t want this night to end.” Charlie whispered.

“Come inside.” Harry invited, with a wave of his hand, the door opened, and the two continued inside.

The kissing continued, even as they threw clothes haphazardly to the floor on the way to the bedroom. Harry had not had sex in a very long time and his cock was aching for the touch of the man who now lay on him, their bodies shivering as they covered themselves. “Charlie,” Harry said as Charlie began to kiss his throat. Charlie stopped for a moment and looked into the beautiful green eyes.

“Yes?” He asked even as he leaned forward to kiss the swollen lips of the man below him.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve done this.” Harry admitted, as his cheeks blushed red.

Charlie smiled, “I’ll be gentle if you like.”

Harry’s blush grew darker, “I don’t really want you to be gentle as much as I just wanted to warn you.” 

Smiling, Charlie growled as he kissed Harry with as much passion he could muster, his cock throbbed with need as he slid down, stopping to suckle and nip at each nipple while his hand played with the other, pinching and twisting even as Harry cried out in need.

Lower, Charlie moved until he closed his mouth over Harry’s weeping cock. Harry’s hands wound into the long red hair as he thrust into the mouth. Groaning at the feel of the skin and mouth, it wasn’t long until Charlie swallowed Harry's cock into his very talented throat.

With a final hard suck, Harry came down Charlie’s throat. Harry panted as Charlie moved off his cock and spread the long beautiful legs; the covers thrown back to let the light show Charlie the prize. The tight puckered opening that hid just below Harry’s balls seemed to be anticipating Charlie’s tongue. With a first tentative touch with his thumbs to pull apart the cheeks, Charlie knew this was what he wanted.

Pushing his head down, Charlie licked and sucked Harry’s hole, his nose teasing the now loose balls sack as Harry’s cock began to show interest again. Harry groaned and softly begged, “Please, Charlie, fuck me!”

That was all the begging it took for Charlie to agree. Rising up on his knees, Charlie held his hard cock in his hand, “Where’s the lube?”

Reaching over to the drawer, Harry handed a tube to Charlie, “Hurry… I want you inside of me…” Harry panted.

Lubing his cock, Charlie looked at Harry. Harry was holding his legs up and apart for Charlie to have full access to what he wanted, his eyes dark with lust as he watched Charlie lube his cock. Holding it steady, he asked, “Are you sure?”

With a nod, Harry agreed, “Please, God, fuck me!”

The answer he wanted, he lined up his swollen cock and pushed the head in. Charlie was larger than any other lover Harry had and he found himself feeling a sharp pain radiating up his spine. Harry took in a deep breath and hissed. “Please, wait, it hurts!” Harry begged for a very different reason.

Charlie, assuming that Harry didn’t mean it, continued to push deeper, “It’ll be okay,” he cooed as he lay on top of Harry fully seated. Harry, with tears running down his cheeks, shook his head no, even as Charlie began to move. Sucking on Harry’s neck, Charlie pistoned in and out of the tight hole. Harry’s cock, which had gone limp when the pain started, did not revive. Even when Charlie found Harry’s prostate, his cock did not respond.

Without realizing it, Charlie heard Harry’s broken breathing, and moaned, “So tight, Harry…wanted this for… so long… gonna cum… gonna… fill…” and with a deep guttural growl, he came deep inside of Harry. Taking a few minutes to recover, Charlie finally rose up and looked down at the face of the man of which he was still inside. Expecting to see adoration, he was shocked when Harry had a cold and aloof mask on. “What’s wrong?” Charlie asked with real concern.

Pushing him off, Harry cried out as Charlie’s cock popped out of the unprepared and now painful hole. “I asked to you stop!” Harry said, trying to fight the tears. “Why didn’t you stop? You were too big!” 

Harry swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. He heard Charlie gasp as he saw the blood and semen smeared across Harry’s buttocks and thighs. “Oh, no! I am so sorry, Harry!” Charlie said, not taking his eyes off Harry.

“Please do not be here when I get back out of the loo.” Without a looking back, Harry hobbled into the bathroom and started the water, hoping that the tears would heal quickly. As he sat in the medicated, hot tub of water, the strange thought of whether Draco would have listened in that same situation.

@@@@@@@@@@@

**_I know alot of you are reading this wondering where the NC-17 rating is going to be, and will it all be Charlie. After my last story, The Contract, I wanted to do something a bit different. WIth my luck of having a BETA in the form of WVSailor, I know that this will be a story to read and be proud of._ **

**_Please bear with me through the first few chapters. Let me know what you are thinking, if you have a minute. This story definitely has not been completely written and I love when someone points out a flaw in the story, or makes a suggestion that can be used._ **

**_Thanks!_ **

**_\--RD  
_ **


	5. Chapter Five  Returns and Decisions

**Chapter Five – Returns and Decisions**

Charlie was still there when Harry got out of the bath. Harry stopped still in the doorframe when he saw the redhead sitting dressed on the side of the bed. “I asked you to leave.” Harry said coldly.

“You also asked me not to be gentle. You also begged me to fuck you.” Charlie answered.

Harry shook his head. “I also asked you to stop.”

Standing, Charlie turned and looked at Harry, respite with wet hair and a bathrobe. Crossing and uncrossing his arms, he finally said, “I apologize. You felt so amazing and I thought that you had been pretty clear as to what you wanted.” He challenged.

Walking to the closet and opening the door, Harry paused before entering. “Charlie, you are hung like a horse. I don’t mean that in passing either. Other than a rim job, you did not prepare me at all. I haven’t had sex of any kind in years. Hell, I barely remember how to wank. What you did tonight…”

Charlie crossed the room and wrapped his arms around him, finishing his sentence, “…was a bit rough, which is what I thought you wanted. Harry,” Charlie released Harry, who shivered at the loss of contact, and turned to look into a beautiful pair of green eyes, “If you did not want me to be with you, that’s fine. I thought we both wanted what happened. I didn’t rape you. I wanted you, desperately, but you asked me to fuck you.”

“I wasn’t ready. When I told you that…” Harry interrupted, loudly.

“…I was holding my lubed cock in my hand and you were holding your legs wide open. Harry, I wanted to be inside of you. I wanted to feel you around me. But I did not want to hurt you unless it was what you wanted.”

Harry had no response to that. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before talking, “Look Charlie, the bottom line is that you hurt me. It doesn’t matter the reasons for it, just that you did it. I was not turned on by that pain, I was soft and crying. I could barely talk for the pain. You just kept fucking me. Didn’t you feel the tears?”

Dropping his head, Charlie shook his head yes before looking back up. “I did. I didn’t realize that they were anything other than… It doesn’t matter, Harry. I am so very sorry for what happened tonight. If I could take it back, I would have never come into your home. I hoped maybe we could see each other again after tonight. I suppose now is not the time to ask for a follow-up dinner?” Charlie asked with a slight smile.

His lips curving up, Harry said, “Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow. Now, since you have insisted on staying, are you leaving now or after breakfast?”

Pulling Harry close, Charlie chose the following morning.

They slept peacefully that night. Charlie woke with his cock hard and throbbing as did Harry, but instead of trying to have sex again, they both settled for a mutual wank. When completed, the two took a shower. Charlie apologized again for the night before and thanked Harry for giving him a second chance.

When Charlie left after breakfast, with the promise to contact him soon. Harry apparated to Saint Mungo’s hospital for a check-up. He was a shown to the examination room and asked to undress. When he was ready he waited only a few moments before Healer Kevin Gardner, who had delivered both of Harry’s children. He was the epitome of discretion when it came to some of the more delicate nature of Harry Potter’s life. “Harry!” The healer said with a smile after closing the door, “What brings you to see me today?” 

Smiling for only a moment, Harry’s face fell. “I had a bit of an encounter last night, and started bleeding a bit. I just want to be sure there was no permanent damage.”

His face serious, the healer said, “Little is permanent regarding you. Your magic tends to heal you before I even get a look. What happened?” Harry told him everything, including who it was, and by the time he was finished, Healer Gardner’s face was softer than it had been in the beginning. “I suspect you are fine, but, let’s get a look just to be sure.” 

With a nod, Harry stood and turned away. He heard the gloves being put on the healer, as well as the familiar sound of lubrication being dispensed. The exam revealed slight tearing of the rectum, but nothing life threatening. The healer left the room while Harry dressed. When he returned, they talked plainly.

“Harry, I am sorry this happened, but why did you ask him for something for which you were not ready?” The healer asked plainly.

“Charlie asked me the same thing. I think, perhaps, I just wanted to feel something again. Not so much this, but just the touch. It’s so hard to be alone all the time, that this time I let my mouth run away with my arse.”

“Be that as it may,” the healer interjected, “I know that this was a mistake, but do you feel like you were violated?”

“Not really so much as I just feel hurt that he wouldn’t stop when I asked him to. I trusted him.”

“Had you talked about this before you were naked, or did you and he let the wine talk for you?” Sheepishly, Harry admitted that a lot of it was the wine and the situation. “Harry, what happened is not acceptable. If you feel like you were raped, there is enough evidence to contact the Ministry and launch an investigation, but in this instance, I think, perhaps, a long meal with tea or coffee might go further.” Harry agreed. “Now, if you change your mind in the future, your records will show the evidence. For the moment though, I think you need a few potions to speed up the healing, reduce the swelling, and help clean out your system a bit. It won’t be a bad thing for you to continue the healing baths, and I will give you a few extra potions that can be added to the hot water for soaking. I recommend rest and no sexual intercourse for forty-eight hours. And Harry?”

Harry looked up at the man, “Yes?” He answered.

“Relax a bit. Stretch your body if you think you might end up having intercourse. There is no need for you to be celibate, but there is also no need for you to be hurt either.” Harry agreed with a grin. “Now, how are the kids doing? I haven’t talked to you in awhile and would like the scoop.” The conversation lasted for a bit longer and Harry felt better by the time he left.

When he Apparated to his home, he was not surprised to find a bouquet of roses on his front doorstep. The note asked for forgiveness and another chance. That second chance would last as long as possible, if Harry had his way.


	6. Chapter Six  The Truth

**Chapter Six – The Truth**

Draco was given the letter from Harry two days later. Azkaban only gave out letters three times a week and Harry’s happened to fall in between. Draco found his hands trembling as he unrolled the scroll.

Reading the words that Harry wrote meant that Draco would finally have a chance to get to know Harry Potter for the man he is now, rather than the git he was in school. Knowing he had time before he could send a response, he reread the letter over each meal that day. Each time, he found that he wanted to answer the questions asked with honesty. It was a strange concept for him because the honest answers did not make him seem like a good person. But still, the hand of friendship was offered, and who was he to turn it down? 

Sitting, once again after his last meal that day, he put quill to parchment and wrote.

__

_Harry,_

_Thank you so much for your letter. I have taken an extra day to answer as I cannot send it until tomorrow anyway. There are only a few days a week that I can send or receive mail. It never really mattered before as I had no one with whom to correspond. Again, thank you for taking my offer of letter exchange._

_I find myself unable to lie in a letter. Perhaps this will be a good thing, as I have only recently realized that I am not a good person. I feel as though I owe you an explanation, so please bear with me._

_I liked to club a lot after we left Hogwarts. I took the freedom of no Dark Lord to a new level. Each night, I found a new way to be out of touch with reality. I drank, tried every Muggle drug I could find, and a most Wizard ones as well. I slept with too many to remember them all. _

_When I met the woman I would marry, I thought to give up that way of life. I had done everything I wanted, and many I did not. But once we were into the marriage, I found a partner in fun. We experimented sexually, with drugs, with alcohol, with others even, until she found she was pregnant with our first child. Our daughter was born and I swore I would be different. That the two of us would be wonderful parents together and she would be happy. But that happiness didn’t last._

_You see my wife was one that wanted more, she was willing to work for it, and because I was content with the large allowance I received from the family, I was not. She went to work while I stayed home with our daughter. It did not take long to realize that this was a mistake. I must interject that I NEVER did anything inappropriate with my daughter. The thought brings the bile to my mouth..._

_Forgive me for that slight delay, I was ill. Anyway, the house elves began taking more of my responsibilities. I was no longer needed by my daughter, my wife, or my parents. The world, as it should have, revolved around my child._

_I began to slip away during her nap times, just a quick nip down at the pub. I never indulged with Wizards, it was always Muggles where I found my escape. Amazing, isn’t it? Anyway, I realized that I needed to slow down a bit, but by then it was too late._

_My daughter was two years old when my wife and I decided to end the marriage. It would have been fine, but I found that without my daughter, my life was not complete. Instead of the bliss of being single, I wanted the security of family. I cleaned myself up, got off the drugs and alcohol and made a true effort to be the man she needed. Within a year, we called off the divorce and reunited._

_I went to work at Gringott’s, got a corner office, and worked hard to be the man she needed. Of course, because I was doing what needed to be done, the roles reversed. She found herself at home with the elves and occasional parental visits. It made her a mad woman. It took less than two years for her to return to work, which left our three year old daughter at home with house elves._

_The problem, as I found out much later, is that my wife had not returned to work. She had an affair. She lost a baby during this time, but I swear it was not me. The bond of marriage prevented her from carrying the child of another man. She blamed me, but it had been part of the vows. Perhaps that was why I could always have affairs with other women without worrying about getting one of them pregnant. I am not proud of what I did, but I do know that I have no other children out there somewhere, except those with my then wife._

_We worked very hard to make our marriage work. Too hard, I think. It was never easy with her. We should have had a wonderful life, and this is how it turned out. She was pregnant with our son when I went to a Muggle Club. I should not have gone. I should have been home, but we had been arguing constantly about my lack of income. It was never enough. Nothing I gave her was enough, Harry._

_I met a woman there, beautiful, legs up to her neck, and a voice that would make a gay man straight. What I did not know is that she was just fifteen. I had even asked her how old she was, and she told me twenty two. It was easy to believe. I went back time and time again. She was a waitress but did not seem to want anything more than to just work and relax. Oh, Harry, I wanted her to relax with me. I asked her if she would like to meet after work and perhaps get a bite to eat. We were walking out of the club at 11:55 P.M.. The next thing I knew, there were Muggle sirens going off and I was arrested. I found out later than it was on the eve of her real birthday, she turned sixteen five minutes after I left with her. Harry, the legal age of consent in England is sixteen._

_But the reality of it is that I did not do anything with her. She told them that I did, but I swear that I did not. I am not asking you to change or be involved with my sentencing, but please believe that I am not here for the reasons I was convicted. My ‘loving’ wife told me that she knew the truth, but for her children’s sake, she would be divorcing me after the trial. She knew I was going to be convicted. I have often wondered if she had been involved, but it makes no difference I am here and I will be for another three years._

_Hopefully, I am going to have you to write to often as I have no one else. Please give me a chance. I need a friend._

_If you would like, I would ask one question at the end of each letter and answer any that you might ask. It might give us a chance to get to know one another. I hope, after reading this letter, you will write again._

_Until then,_

_Draco_

_PS: What is your favorite time of year?  
_

#################

****_Author's Note  
I know this will irritate some of you, but please keep in mind that Draco knows nothing of what happened with Charlie. This letter was written and sent before the date. Harry seems a bit desperate for a touch, doesn't he?  
_


	7. Chapter Seven  The Beginning of a Friendship

**Chapter Seven – The Beginning of a Friendship**

The correspondence between Harry and Draco continued three or four letters a week, each with a question at the bottom and a reply. Harry found that it was easy to write Draco and laughed when he received the replies. Although Harry had not confided in Charlie about his letters but knew he would need to at some point. Harry wrote his children every time he wrote Draco. Luckily, his daughter answered every letter, but his son only answered every few, so he felt like he could keep up with the amount of letters. 

He didn’t mention Charlie again to Draco, and it was inevitable that at some point, Draco would ask him again. But he hoped, when Draco finally did, that he would have a better answer than, ‘Well, I don’t know. I like him and he spends most evenings with me. But I haven’t been able to let him penetrate me again just yet.’

Ron contacted Harry during the first week of February. He had information on the Malfoy case and wanted to discuss it with him. Coming through the floo, Ron accepted the drink offered and sat in the chair facing Harry. Setting the folder down on his lap, he look up at his best friend and asked the question that had bothered him for a couple of weeks, “Why did you ask about Malfoy?”

Deciding to tell the truth, Harry told his friend everything, from the visit to the letters which had continued every few days. When Ron asked about Charlie, Harry admitted that he hadn’t told Charlie yet. Although Ron did not agree with that choice, he remained silent for a moment. “But why would Malfoy ask you?” Ron blurted out after a bit of silence, just before draining his glass. 

The floo flared to life again before Harry could ask. Hermione stepped through with a smile. “Hello!” She started, seeing Ron, she paused and then her grin increased. “I’m so glad you are both here! I have news!” Her friends both waited for her to continue, putting their own conversation aside. She could not wait long, but did manage to count to ten before she blurted out, “I’m getting MARRIED!” Standing they both congratulated her, asking who it was. “Blaise Zabini!” She beamed at them both. 

“Uhm, Hermione, I don’t mean to put a damper on your excitement, but I dated Blaise. Isn’t he gay?” Harry asked with honesty.

“You are so funny! He told me that he had tried both, well, most of us have at some point, but he and I have been dating exclusively for months and he asked me last night!” Both men were happy for her and she sat and asked what they had been discussing. When they told her, she said, “I remember that story. Draco got the worst because the girl said he had touched her and came on to her. His wife divorced him right away after the baby was born.”

“Draco said he hadn’t touched her.” Harry said with just a hint of defense.

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks, as they had always done when they weren’t sure who needed to say something first. It was Hermione, “Harry, do you believe him?”

“Yes, I do. I don’t know why. But I do. He doesn’t want anything from me, he doesn’t want me to be involved in his parole or anything, he just wants me to be his friend. The letters are pretty consistent. He’s straight too, so there isn’t a sexual angle, and I feel like I am getting to know someone I didn’t before.” He paused for a moment wondering if he and Draco were friends.

Ron interrupted his thoughts, “As it happens, Hermione, I came over here with Malfoy’s file. Every piece of information used against him and found during the investigation. I also did a bit of digging on his ex-wife.” Harry and Hermione both looked at him open mouthed, “What?” He asked, “I do my job well.”

The file revealed much more than would have convicted him. It actually revealed the name of the girl he had, for lack of a better term, molested. “Eleanor Dursley, I wonder if there was any relation to your relatives Harry.” Hermione asked.

The picture revealed a dark headed woman who looked no less than twenty three, but it was the eyes that caught his attention. That girl was related to Harry, he was sure of it. He wondered something else, was it the daughter of his cousin, or a bastard child of his uncle? Looking to his friends, he said. “If you will both wait here, I am going to Apparate over to see Aunt Petunia and perhaps get an answer. It’ll be faster than trying to figure it out this way.” He excused himself for a moment.

Harry Apparated to Number Four Privet Drive to talk to his Aunt Petunia. When the door opened, she allowed him in, which meant that she was home alone. She was still thin, but that only accentuated the age. Smiling graciously, she asked if he would like tea.

“Yes, please.” She bustled off to the kitchen and returned a few moments later with the tea. “Aunt Petunia, do you have a granddaughter named Elenor?”

“Oh, yes! She is Dudley’s angel child, that one. He has another one as well, Margaret is a bit younger than Elenor, of course, but still loves to come play with her grandmother!” She explained with excitement. Harry endured another half hour of bragging before she calmed.

“Do you have any other pictures of Dudley’s girls, ones that I could have, perhaps?”

Petunia turned a pale shade of grey, “What do you want with their pictures?”

“Aunt Petunia, as you are well aware, I have two children. Both of whom will leave their boarding school in the next few months and at some point, they might meet them. If they don’t know what they look like, well, what would it be if my son began dating my cousin’s daughter?” He asked with mock surprise.

It took a few moments for Petunia to agree to give Harry a recent picture of Dudley’s family. The mother looked strangely familiar, but Harry had been looking at the pictures while Petunia was making tea. It took another ten minutes before Harry left the home he had hated for so long and return, picture in hand, to his home.

Ron and Hermione were waiting for him. Handing over the picture, Harry asked if they thought that was the same girl. All three agreed that it was. The odd part, noted Hermione, is how much Dudley’s wife looked like Draco’s wife. “They could be twins.” Hermione said. Both Ron and Harry had to agree with her.

Standing, Ron agreed to look into the relationship between the two women. “If it turns out that this is Draco’s wife’s niece, it could be ugly. I’ll let you know as soon as I know something.” With a quick hug and congratulations, Ron entered the Floo to return to work.

Hermione was too excited to sit still long. “I was so shocked, Harry. When Blaise asked me to marry him, I thought of all the reasons I shouldn’t do it.” She babbled on, “but only one that I should. I love him, Harry. I really do.”

“I have no doubts that you feel exactly like you do, Hermione. I am so glad for you! You deserve happiness, and if Blaise makes you feel happy, don’t let anyone stand in your way.”

“Harry, how are you and Charlie? I mean, he can’t be happy that you are writing Draco, is he?”

Harry ducked his head, “He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him yet. We just aren’t serious to the point I have to share everything in my life with him, yet. If we get that way, I’ll tell him, I promise. But for now, let’s talk wedding plans. When’s the date?”

For the next hour, they did talk wedding. Harry was not paying nearly enough attention to her as she rattled on about roses and colors. When the visit ended, she thanked him for always being her friend and with a whoosh of green flame, Harry was alone again.

He found that he wanted to write Draco and tell him what they had found out, but honestly, he chose not to. He would wait until they knew something more. From what they did know at this point, it sounded as though Asteria Malfoy had set her husband up to get rid of him. Now, if they could prove it, perhaps Draco would be released early and without the reputation he had now. If it could happen… No, Harry would not let himself remember the crush he had suffered through in Hogwarts.


	8. BETA's answer

Hello all!

I got a review that I could not answer, so I turned it over to my ever bestest fandom friend, WVSailor, to answer. Below you will see the review, AND his answer. If you choose to comment on it, great. If you choose not to, you are always welcome to contact either me (rdwind@yahoo.com) or my BETA, at wvsailor25143@yahoo.com. Otherwise, enjoy this side trip into review hell.

**__  
Julia 2008.01.05 - 10:38AM 7: Chapter Seven – The Beginning of a Friendship Anonymous  
If Harry isn't able to let Charlie penetrate him again, does it mean they doesn't have sex at all, or it's just Harry doing the penetrating? Because I find it strange for them to think they could have sex just one way where Harry is one to bottom. They have similar parts so they can take reversal roles, couldn't they?  
**  
Author's Initial Response: I have referred this review to my BETA, WV Sailor, to address... check back for a better answer... 

**And here is WV's take on this issue:**

_Beta Note  
Response to Julia’s review for Chapter 7 – The Beginning of a Friendship_  
Julia, I really wish you had “signed” your review, or at least left an email address for contact. Discussion of this issue is actually beyond the scope of a simple “beta-note” or “author’s note”, or even a review. I will attempt to address this “delicate” issue to the best of my ability without offending anyone.

In my humble opinion (IMHO), I would equate what happened to Harry as “rape”. RD and I disagree on this I believe. Even though in Chapter 4 it states, _Harry’s blush grew darker, “I don’t really want you to be gentle as much as I just wanted to warn you.”_ It became rape at this point, _Harry took in a deep breath and hissed. “Please, wait, it hurts!”_ I personally don’t know how anyone could equate “pleasure” with “pain”. 

Yes, I do know there are those in every community that do enjoy BD/SM, etc. Using “Wait” or “Stop” means just that! Without a “safe word” in place, those terms mean what they mean! As described in Chapter 5, _“Look Charlie, the bottom line is that you hurt me. It doesn’t matter the reasons for it, just that you did it. I was not turned on by that pain, I was soft and crying. I could barely talk for the pain. You just kept fucking me. Didn’t you feel the tears?”_

Harry was very lucky. His visit with the Healer indicated that the damage was very mild. Not only can the “recipient” be hurt, permanently damaged, or even killed, there is a range of diseases that each partner can be susceptible to.

Let me state that penetrative (or anal) sex is NOT, nor will it ever be, a requirement for straight/bi/gay sexual activity. There is even a “movement” if you will, of a group of men that prefer to call themselves “goys” or “g0ys”, which disparage this type of sexual contact. Try a Google search. You would be amazed at the amount of websites available. There are even quite a few Yahoo groups. Many self-identified “gay” men simply prefer other forms of intimate contact. 

To approach this using “ice-cream terms”, it _It ain’t strictly VANILLA honey!_ There are many “flavors” available. What happened is not about “parts”, or even “reversing roles” as you say. Each individual has his or her own preference as to position, or what goes where, to put it mildly.

 

\--WV

**  
Well, readers, there ya' go. If we poor Muggles can have sex without being penetrated, surely, Wizards can too!**

**Hugs and Love,**

**\--RD**

****


	9. Chapter Eight  Letters of Intent

**Chapter Eight – Letters of Intent  
**  
February turned to March with letters flying between Ottery St. Catchpole and Azkaban. Charlie was a weekend visitor to Harry’s home and had long been forgiven for the first encounter. Their sexual appetites seemed to be in sync for the two men. Harry, for the first few weeks would not allow Charlie to penetrate him, and while Charlie wasn’t too keen on being penetrated, he knew that the actual sex act with Harry, either giving or receiving was worth whatever price he had to pay for their first encounter. The blow jobs and hand jobs became touches and rimming until finally Harry had stretched and penetrated Charlie. Charlie came the first time before Harry was even inside of him. He came the second time before Harry had completed, and amazingly Charlie Weasley came a third time when Harry bent over his back and told him to, just as he was filled with the essence of Harry. 

The weekends now included both men being stimulated and penetrated. Harry taught Charlie the difference between rape and rough sex. Harry taught it to him by example and, taking the advice of the healer, words. They talked during their hiatus from penetrative sex. It was exactly the balance that Harry had been seeking, a friend with whom he could communicate with and a lover who wanted him. Because of the great combination, Harry could even ignore the occasional whiffs of perfume that was on Charlie’s coat when he arrived.

Harry found that he looked forward to hearing the whoosh of the Floo and knowing that Charlie was back again. Sometimes the entire weekend was spent in bed; their only break was a shared bath or a meal. Harry settled into a routine with which he could live. 

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, letters received and sent to Draco and his children. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were spent with Charlie. The quiet life was exactly what Harry felt as if he had needed. He found his letters to Draco to be honest about his feelings about Charlie, and Draco counseled him to keep his ‘heart in check’ and not to rush into anything that might lead to heartbreak. Harry had even told Draco about that disastrous first time with Charlie. Draco had sympathized with him and did not bring it up again, continued to caution him about being careful. Draco had even suggested which wines were better with which meals.

It was inevitable that the two worlds would collide one day. Ron was still trying to work out the connection between Draco’s wife and Harry’s cousin’s wife and her daughter. He knew that Asteria Malfoy was once Asteria Greengrass and was a Pure Blood. He also knew that Dudley’s wife, Athena, was reared in a home about which she would not speak. He had met with her under the guise of additional information for keeping ‘Malfoy’ in prison longer. He finally caught a break near the end of March when he heard Athena speak of her sister Asty. When questioned, she admitted that it was a nickname for her sister Asteria. Feeling that he had finally gotten the break he needed, he thanked her and left.

When Charlie flooed in, Harry and Ron were discussing Asteria’s role in Draco’s imprisonment. Charlie was quite surprised to hear his little brother remind Harry not to mention any of this to Malfoy until he was certain of the facts. Harry had agreed and when he heard the CRACK of apparition, Harry rounded the corner deep in thought, bumping into the man with whom he shared his weekends.

Stumbling, he let out a gasp of surprise. “Charlie! You’re here early!”

“Why are you talking to Malfoy?” Charlie asked without emotion.

“What are you talking about?” Harry tried to sidestep the conversation.

Charlie grabbed Harry’s shoulders, “Harry, I just heard my little brother tell you not to mention what he was talking about to Malfoy until he knew more. Now, I want to know what this is all about!” Charlie’s cool had been lost and he was shouting before the end of his sentence.

Shaking out of Charlie’s grasp, Harry stepped back. “I hadn’t wanted you to find out like this. It seems so much more than it is. Draco and I have been writing letters for a few months and Ron is trying to find out if it is going to be safe to have him around my family when he gets out of prison. However, it isn’t a big deal, Charlie. We are only friends.”

Taking a step toward Harry, Charlie’s usual easygoing manner was harsh, “I don’t want you to have anything to do with that git. He’s a child molester and is in prison where he belongs. How could you even think about having him around our children?”

Harry looked up at Charlie, seeing his eyes almost glazed over, “What do you mean, ‘our children’?”

Charlie’s eyes dilated, but still did not seem clear to Harry. “I mean, our conversation last week about having children! I assumed we would have children together, Harry. I mean, I care for you and I thought we were getting closer. Don’t you want to have children with me?”

“No, I don’t. I mean, don’t take that wrong, it’s just that I have two children and I love them, but I don’t want to have anymore. Do you really want children with your lifestyle and career?”

Charlie began to pace back and forth in the dining area. “Look, I don’t understand. I thought we were agreed on this.”

“We have never spoken about this before, Charlie. What are you talking about?” Asked Harry, clearly confused.

“Harry, we talked about it!” Charlie corrected him, “How can such…an important…oh shit.” He finished.

“Charlie, you need to clear up your conversation. What is this all about? We have been together for months and I tell you that we did not have this conversation, ever, and certainly not in the past week!” Harry finished with conviction.

“It wasn’t you.” Charlie mumbled.

“Who was it?” Harry demanded. Was it who ever wear the perfume that is on your coat?”

Charlie cleared his throat clearly apologizing, “It was nobody Harry, nothing to concern yourself about. I’m sorry I even brought it up. Now, what are we having for dinner?” He asked.

“We are having a conversation about your cheating arse and you explaining to me who you want to have your children if you are sleeping with me every weekend. Who is he? Or is it a she?” Harry yelled.

Charlie took a step back as the windows rattled with Harry’s fury. “I’m sorry, I wanted both of you, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing either of you. Please calm down.”

“Charlie, the best thing you can do is leave right now. Don’t come back. Don’t push me on this. There is nothing here that you need to lose your life over and if I continue to be angry, I swear, there will be bits of you all over the country side.”

The air crackled as Charlie decided to take his warning seriously and left the house with a CRACK! The air became calmer as Harry had distance between him and the lying, cheating, fucking, asshole that had left him. “A BABY?” Harry yelled to the empty house, “What the hell????”

It took a few hours for Harry to calm enough to notice the mess his magic had made and clean it up. During that time, he decided he would write Draco, tell him that he was right, and wait for the ‘old Draco’ to resurface and say, “I told you so.”

_March 10th,_

_Dear Draco,_

_You won’t believe what just happened! Charlie got me and his other lover confused and asked me about wanting to have a baby with him! I didn’t even know he was sleeping with someone else. Now I have to go to the healer and be checked again. I give up! I am not going to date again-EVER! This is such a bad time to open the bottle of wine you recommended, but I am currently on my second glass and about to pour my third._

_I lost control of my magic. I can’t keep it grounded when I lose my temper and I have to tell you, what a mess it made too. Luckily, while I was cleaning up the mess, I calmed down A LOT. Enough to write and tell you that you were right and I should not have put my heart back out there. I just hoped Charlie was different._

_Now, I just want to sit and continue to consume the bottle of wine you recommended for me to buy for the weekend and stare at the fire. I hate being alone. That’s glass number four. I hate knowing that I will never be loved again. I hate that my best friend, the one I tell everything to, is locked up and I cannot even visit. I also hate knowing that I can’t talk to you about the how much I want to be with you. I am glad that it didn’t work out with Charlie because now when I dream of you, I won’t have to feel guilty._

_I want you, Draco, just as I did in school. To say I was a bit obsessed with you is to understate the obvious. I was so obsessed with you in sixth year that I followed you everywhere. In what should have been our seventh year, when I was at Malfoy Mansion, and I saw you above me, I could not believe how lucky I was. You saved me that day and gave me enough wank material to last a lifetime. Oh, I tried with Oliver. I tried to love him. I knew that you should have been the one to be with me. Even if it was only for a few years, I wanted to have you in my bed. Oh, Draco, the things I would do to you if I could have you for one night, willing to let me explore you._

_I would taste you, touch you, and feel every centimeter of you. I would make you feel like no woman ever could when I wrapped my lips around your cock and sucked, you would know how much I want you. When you came with my name on your lips, I promise you that I would gently prepare you, stretch you until you could take my length. I would make you want it. I would push inside of you and listen to you until you begged me to be deeper. Never, ever, would I take advantage of you. I would only want to make you mine. Would you ever let me? Would you ever let me touch you and love you? Could you ever love me, for me?_

_I already know the answer is no, because you like women, but there are times when only a man knows what to do to satisfy another man. I know these things. I would make you happy, if only you would give me a chance. I may not have girl bits, but I am tight and I want you, so much, I ache inside. Could it ever happen?_

_Damnit. I should not have mentioned that. Ignore it, I am not good at erasing spells and I don’t want to rewrite it._

_I spoke to Cissy (yes, your mum told me to call her Cissy) and she said that your parole has been denied. She believes that Asteria had something to do with that and she is determined to find out why. The weird part is that Ron and I agree. He’s one of the top Aurors now, and has agreed to help me find out what happened to you. I believe you, Draco. There were strange things going on with your conviction and honestly, I really feel sorry for your ex-wife. Your mum is almost as scary as Voldemort when she gets mad. I’ll keep you posted on that little item._

_So, I would ask you what is new with you, but I know that little has changed. For that, I feel horrible. I wish there was something more I could do, but I couldn’t even get in to visit you last week. I told you about that. The guards were complete idiots. However, I didn’t want to push too hard and get you in trouble._

_I am thinking I need a career. Maybe I should go to the University and become something besides the ‘Boy-Who-Lived’. Of course, that fame has made me a rich man. The rewards alone will keep my grandchildren’s grandchildren in silk for their entire lives. I didn’t even have to share it with Oliver when we divorced. It was protected by some type of law that was established when Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald. Of course, what you may not know is that I received all of Dumbledore’s estate as well as my godfather, Sirius Black, and my parent’s estate. I was glad it was protected because Oliver would have spent every penny he could get his hands on._

_You don’t care about any of this, do you? I should not have started drinking that soon after I got angry. I am going to enclose a ‘comic book’, yes a Muggle comic book about a character named the Hulk. I always feel like him when I get mad. Anyway enough about anger issues, I must get another glass of wine._

_Okay, back, anyway, where was I? I hate to reread letters because I always think you won’t want to read what I have to say. Let me answer a few of your latest questions:  
Silk Boxers, always silk, I wore my cousin’s hand-me-downs for the first seventeen years of my life and I refuse to ever do it again. To have really well made, or tailored, silk boxers are a dream come true. _

_My favorite color is green. I think that has to do with being a Slytherin at heart. Then again, it could have to do with a crush I used to have on a certain Slytherin before he became the first man to break my heart without trying. God Draco, why can’t you like men? You are perfect for me, incarceration aside, of course. You are handsome and funny, you know how to make me smile without trying, and you have learned to be honest and sincere. You aren’t playing me too, are you? No, I already know the answer to that._

_My favorite food is Kidney pie. I know, its common, but I love it anyway; which is followed closely by Treacle Tart. I don’t know, Draco, I think you and I are worlds apart when it comes to food – or cuisine – as you put it in your last letter._

_No, I have never had lessons to swim, and the fact that I didn’t die during the second task was because of the Gillyweed. Enough said about that._

_What about you? What do you want to do when you get out of there? Will you move back to the Manor? Write me soon, I think I need a friend as bad as you do right now._

_\--Harry_

_PS: Have you ever kissed a man? Have you ever had sex with a man? Have you ever wondered what it was like to kiss me?  
_

 

The owl took the letter without being told while Harry fell asleep at the desk, his face in the ink and his hand around the empty wine bottle.


	10. Chapter Nine  Truths

**Chapter Nine – Truths**

Draco welcomed the letter from Harry with a “thank you” to the guard. The guard smiled broadly before handing the letter to him and leaving. “Odd…” Draco thought out loud as he settled himself on the little bed to read his friends latest missive about the outside world.

The farther into the letter he read, the wider his eyes opened. He put the letter down without finishing it, realized he was hard and aching for release, and lay down before he could resume reading. It wasn’t that Harry had so much propositioned him as he simply wrote in that maddening way. 

Draco eased his prison garb down to just the top of his thighs and wrapped his long thin fingers around himself. Hissing at the cold hands on the sensitive flesh, he picked back up the letter and began again. He came just as he finished the letter, with thoughts of pale skin, dark hair, and green eyes. Rolling onto his side to catch his breath, he wondered what it would take to make Harry’s letter come true. Did he dare write a letter begging Harry to let him kiss, caress and be inside of him? Should he write a letter and ask why Harry would write such things? Could he even think of sleeping when his mind was full of green silk boxers sliding down the long muscular legs of the man he had a crush on so very long ago?

It took a long time for sleep to come to Draco Malfoy, time and two additional orgasms which he had to clean quickly as he would not have a shower until the following day. When he woke, he reread the letter over breakfast with the same results: He was hard as could be and wanted to be with Harry, he just didn’t know if the letter should be taken to heart as Harry was obviously consuming a rather wonderful bottle of wine at the time.

Making the decision to put the letter away and write later, he went about his day until the guard arrived to take him to the showers and the hour he was allowed out of his cell each day.

Draco interacted with the other inmates in what could only be called ‘free time’. A few of the others smiled at him, but few approached him. One guard, who was assigned his area, smiled at him with an almost dreamy expression. On the way back to his cell, the guard asked him, “Mr. Malfoy, what is going on between you and Mr. Potter?”

Startled, Draco stopped walking and opened his mouth to reply. But before any words could leave his mouth, the guard continued, “I just wondered, because if you were so inclined in that area, I would be very able to make the rest of your time here much less horrible than it had to be.”

Draco, finally finding his voice, squeaked, “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you mean.” Draco’s brain clinked back into gear even as the words left his mouth.

The guard, who still had not given Draco his name, smiled. “We read every letter that is sent to and from our inmates. There is no privacy here. You and Mr. Potter exchange many letters a week. It isn’t hard to imagine, especially after the last letter, that you and he have something more going on than we know about.” The guard leaned in close, Draco shivered as he felt the heat of the man’s breath on his ear. “If you want to do any of the things you are missing with Mr. Potter with me, I can make your stay very nice here, very nice indeed,” the guard promised, smiling as he pulled away.

Draco raised his eyebrows, “Oh, that’s what you mean. Perhaps, we should discuss this further back in my cell?” And leading the way, Draco’s guard followed him, stopping only to open the cell door. Once they were inside the cell, Draco turned to him, “Tell me, what is your name?”

The man smiled, “Matthew, Matthew MacIntosh,” the man told him.

Moving closer, Draco whispered, “So you think, Matthew, that you could hold me over until I am released?” The guard nodded his head. “And do you think that Harry would be happy with you if he knew that you were trying to take advantage of my situation?”

Matthew started with that question, “Oh, no… not exactly. I just… Merlin, Mr. Malfoy, its not that at all! I just want you. I watch you day after day in here and you haven’t seemed alive until you and he started exchanging letters. I’m sorry I was trying to get you to do something you didn’t want. I would NEVER force you! Be sure you tell him that when you write about this.” Matthew moved closer to the door, “I don’t want to make Harry Potter an enemy, that’s for sure.” He opened the door and moved to the open space, “I’m sorry.” He slammed the door and seemed to fly down the hall.

Draco sat on his bed thinking hard. Making a decision, he pulled the little table to him and began his letter.  
 __

_Dear Harry,_

_Your letter was a bit overwhelming. I am putting it off to the excellent wine you consumed whilst writing it. Be that as it may, there were parts that were disturbing to say the least._

_Now, because I am assuming that you don’t remember writing me, I am returning your letter to you. I must admit that I was a bit overwhelmed at first. Do you really feel this way about me or was it the wine?_

_As for your questions, yes, I have kissed a man, several in fact. Not my guard who wants me to trade sex for basic necessities of course, but before I was married, and perhaps a few after I was when there was an extra in my bed._

_Have I ever wondered what it was like to kiss you? Yes. But that was not why I asked to exchange letters with you._

_I didn’t want our friendship to be like this. I didn’t expect anything but a friend who would understand that I love my children and would exchange letters with me. Someone with whom I could relate about the things that make life normal, like foods, travels, our children, and fun, I was so glad that you were that person. I didn’t want to care so much about what you wanted, other than friendship, that it did not occur to me that you would have ever wanted me like this._

_It must be hard to believe, knowing the prat I was in school, but I have grown up a lot since my daughter was born, and more, since I have been in here. Because I only wanted your friendship, and because I have now had to use your name, I would never want you to believe that I had contacted you in order to use your name to better my situation. Please believe that, Harry. But as it is, now I have now had to use your friendship to fend off a guard’s advances. Because of that, I must call an end to our friendship. I am sorry, Harry. I wanted to be your friend, but I would never want to take advantage of that friendship._

_Forgive me, but this will be the last letter I send to you._

_Thank you for the past few months, they have been wonderful for me to know that someone cared._

_Draco  
_

Draco reread the letter several times before he called to the guard and sent the letter. He would write his mum tomorrow and try to explain everything.


End file.
